So I’m writing this on a bit of a whim as I’ve been feeling a bit blah about this blog. I started it because I wanted to write about how I feel. I want to connect to other people and just be honest about me, my life and my experience of motherhood.
I love my children more than anything on this planet and since becoming a mother I have pushed myself to the brink of insanity to be the best mum I can be. BUT, it has been bloody hard and I have often felt like I am failing. I know my kids are happy and healthy, they have the basics and a warm, loving home but I guess as a mum I have never felt certain that I am doing the right thing. That’s the hardest part of motherhood for me, you just don’t know how your children will turn out. Are we doing a good job? Maybe. Will they be good people? Maybe. Are they going to grow into strong and happy adults? Who knows!
It’s the uncertainty that seems to leave me on a constant cycle of unease and anxiety. I don’t know if I’m doing a good job, but I do know that I really do try and it’s time to be a little easier on myself. Stop comparing myself to others and worrying constantly if I am enough!
Without looking after yourself, rewarding yourself once in a while, it’s easy to lose sight of what really matters. We can all always do something better or give more effort but most of the time we don’t actually need to. Most of the time, what we are doing is already enough.
Being a parent is so, so difficult and I’m sure 99% of us have felt like we are failing at some point but we aren’t. We are doing the hardest job in the world and most of us are bloody smashing it. Stop comparing your lives to others, stop worrying about what people think and realise that the only thing that matters is that you are there for your children and you are doing your best.
This is a long process for me but the more I realise it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks, the more I am enjoying motherhood and my own life. People don’t really care about what you are doing, not really – when people make judgements about your life it’s only usually a result of them feeling shitty about something in their own lives. Stop putting pressure on yourself and just enjoy what you are doing and do whatever it is makes you happy. No justification necessary.
Anyway – maybe it’s just me that feels this way but I thought I’d put it out there anyway. Obviously feeling a bit reflective it being Christmas and all 😂
Love Amy x